Strained Relationships: How to Work With People You Don't Like
Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2025 6:56 am
Imagine a team of talented, positive and composed professionals who are ready to take on any challenge. Doesn't that sound like the dream team that every manager dreams of?
Unfortunately, we don't always choose who we work with. And most of us don't know how to leave our emotions outside the office door. Even if you are the epitome of friendliness, you will inevitably encounter inadequate or aggressive employees. And what if you yourself feel personal hostility?
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The article will be useful for those who cannot, but want to find a common language with colleagues. And also for those who want to improve the atmosphere in the team: understand the reasons for the conflict and bury the hatchet. It does not matter who irritates you - the boss or the neighbor at the table - there are several effective ways to defuse the situation and improve relations.
First, ask yourself the question
"Is it you or your colleague?" You'll probably immediately answer that it's his fault. However, the correct answer is almost always: both are to blame. Let's be honest, we all get lazy, grumble, and judge sometimes.
No matter how unpleasant your coworker may seem, it doesn't mean that they are the only ones to blame for the bad relationship. Look back and ask yourself if your behavior was the cause of the conflict. Maybe you said something hurtful to them or didn't do something that made them dislike you?
Respect is important in relationships with colleagues
There should be no place for personal grievances at work; here you are professionals doing a job. Therefore, when looking for reasons for hostility, also try to proceed from work motives. If your colleague asks you to hurry up with a report, try to assume that it is not because he is irritated or impatient. Remember, maybe you yourself have been late with reports or have submitted them at the last minute? Then the colleague's remark is justified.
Be careful in your assessments and remember the fundamental attribution error — the tendency to attribute another person’s mistakes to their character and personal reasons. For example, if a person is often late for work, others may begin to consider him lazy, without taking into account the real reasons for being late.
When you work with people you don't like, you may unconsciously be biased against them. So when you don't like someone, you get irritated by everything they do. Try to get rid of this feeling, because it will constantly poison your working relationships.
Find out more and give it a chance
Try at least once to put yourself in the shoes of the person with whom you have a strained relationship.
A coworker may be in a bad mood because of troubles at home or because he is no longer able to give his best because he is tired or burned out. There could be many reasons. But you will never know about them unless you make an effort to look deeper into the situation and understand the real reason behind what is happening. You are unlikely to be able to change the circumstances, but it will certainly allow you to reconsider your relationship.
It wouldn't hurt to be a little more empathetic and understanding of your coworkers' situations. After all, if you were in their shoes, wouldn't you want to know that someone didn't like you for no apparent reason?
Unfortunately, we don't always choose who we work with. And most of us don't know how to leave our emotions outside the office door. Even if you are the epitome of friendliness, you will inevitably encounter inadequate or aggressive employees. And what if you yourself feel personal hostility?
Useful material about CRM ukraine whatsapp list implementation
How to Save Money
When Implementing CRM:
10 Tips from Experts
For those who want:
implement a CRM system easily and without errors
check how you have implemented CRM and what can be improved
Understand how to save time and money using proven tips from experts
Get it for free
The article will be useful for those who cannot, but want to find a common language with colleagues. And also for those who want to improve the atmosphere in the team: understand the reasons for the conflict and bury the hatchet. It does not matter who irritates you - the boss or the neighbor at the table - there are several effective ways to defuse the situation and improve relations.
First, ask yourself the question
"Is it you or your colleague?" You'll probably immediately answer that it's his fault. However, the correct answer is almost always: both are to blame. Let's be honest, we all get lazy, grumble, and judge sometimes.
No matter how unpleasant your coworker may seem, it doesn't mean that they are the only ones to blame for the bad relationship. Look back and ask yourself if your behavior was the cause of the conflict. Maybe you said something hurtful to them or didn't do something that made them dislike you?
Respect is important in relationships with colleagues
There should be no place for personal grievances at work; here you are professionals doing a job. Therefore, when looking for reasons for hostility, also try to proceed from work motives. If your colleague asks you to hurry up with a report, try to assume that it is not because he is irritated or impatient. Remember, maybe you yourself have been late with reports or have submitted them at the last minute? Then the colleague's remark is justified.
Be careful in your assessments and remember the fundamental attribution error — the tendency to attribute another person’s mistakes to their character and personal reasons. For example, if a person is often late for work, others may begin to consider him lazy, without taking into account the real reasons for being late.
When you work with people you don't like, you may unconsciously be biased against them. So when you don't like someone, you get irritated by everything they do. Try to get rid of this feeling, because it will constantly poison your working relationships.
Find out more and give it a chance
Try at least once to put yourself in the shoes of the person with whom you have a strained relationship.
A coworker may be in a bad mood because of troubles at home or because he is no longer able to give his best because he is tired or burned out. There could be many reasons. But you will never know about them unless you make an effort to look deeper into the situation and understand the real reason behind what is happening. You are unlikely to be able to change the circumstances, but it will certainly allow you to reconsider your relationship.
It wouldn't hurt to be a little more empathetic and understanding of your coworkers' situations. After all, if you were in their shoes, wouldn't you want to know that someone didn't like you for no apparent reason?